He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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