dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
