Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
