is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
