But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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