i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
