exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
