So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
