i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Your cock deserves a montage
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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