doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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