Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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