Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
high people should be assigned attendants
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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