allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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