"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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