i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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