I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You took a bar mat shot.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
