What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
