Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
