erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
