hell yes lets make some ravioli
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
