woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
