i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
