Buhtt sex?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
