Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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