Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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