the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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