Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize