This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
