I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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