Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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