Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
