just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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