Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
