He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
