dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
