It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
