Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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