Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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