he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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