I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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