i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
