Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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