Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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