i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
