you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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