I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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