his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize