basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I AM VODKA MAN
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
