omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
