I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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