i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I looked at my own cervix.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
