Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
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Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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