I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize