Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
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