i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
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when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
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The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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