its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
