I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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