hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Did I show you my penis last night?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
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