pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The adults are the big ones right?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
