My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
