remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
