Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize