dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
