Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
