Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My penis needs a shock collar
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
