I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
