So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dignity is for republicans.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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